Some evening thoughts.
No title as yet.
Some days I linger in the present
Enjoying what is now
Like smiles and laughter
Hugs and tea time
But at night I often
Find myself wishing I
was someplace else
Seeds of discontentment grow
Of feeling alone
And wondering where home is?
I see things often that I like
and stop myself
Cause I don’t have a place to call home
I’m discovering there are
some down sides to
Finding belonging is one.
Still something I struggle with
Growing up I was the kid most
comfortable with my head
in a book
Than being in a crowd or
Spending time with others
Reading was a place of escape
comfort and adventure
And it’s still one of the best travel
Am still being the one to wear
my heart on my sleeve.
The rattle of the train
Bright evening skies
Searching for golden moments
Mesmerising in their simplicity
Pockets of wonder
Captured in a split second
Against a blazing furness
Slivers of silver on the horizon
as dusk approaches.
C. Farish 19.03.18
Often times in life we face moments of rejection. Which can lead to feelings of failure and feeling disheartened. But lately I’ve begun to change my perception and perspective of rejection. I’m realising more and more that it actually helps to challenge me to keep going. To keep chasing those dreams in my heart.
Rather than parking up the bus and quitting I’m learning to keep one foot in front of the other. In realisation that those no’s aren’t bad and might not mean no forever just a no right now. Over the years I’ve applied for many jobs and been given many rejection letters. I used to get very disheartened when I received these but these days I take it as a positive that they took the time to reply. That really does speak volumes.
More recently it has helped me to start doing something that I’ve wanted to do since my teens. Photography has been a passion of my for a long time. I’ve begun a freelance photography course. Taking. baby steps to where you want to be is totally okay.
I took some time out to relax this afternoon and did some reading. I’m re-reading a book called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Reading it is reminding me how important listening to the creativity with in me is. Also how much fear can stop us in our tracks. We need fear to help us judge danger but it does not need to be in the front giving the directions.
In the past I used to find rejection hard to deal with. Rejection is no longer something that affects my self worth. My value is more than a rejection letter. In applying for a job, course, volunteering you are stepping out into the world.
Daring to be yourself.
This time last year I was not in a good place. I was fearful, scared and at times more sad than I’d ever felt before. I desperately wanted to escape and choosing to stay in that difficult situation was one of the bravest things I’ve done.
I’ve learnt that I’m way more resilient than I give myself credit for. To still speak up for myself even if it doesn’t work out. To still treat those who hurt you well. That every time you offer to do something out of the box you are stepping out into the arena. This way of thinking I’ve been learning from Brene Brown and her book Daring Greatly. (you can find out more about her by clicking on the link) I’m currently reading another book by her called Braving The Wilderness. Which I need to pick up again.
Lets keep being brave, stepping out into new things. Chasing the things that bring joy. When we are knocked down lets choose to get back up.
I found this quote today which resonated with me.
I’m not one for doing New Years resolutions but this year I have decided to set myself a few goals.
Chiefly to finish my poetry book and get it published is top of the list.
Also to devote more time to reading, learning and all things crafty.
The other day I signed up for a freelance photography diploma which is super exciting. As it’s something I thought about doing in my teens but never did. But I’m so glad I can do it now!
Its okay to chase your dreams one small step at a time.
Signing off for now.
Some scribblings from Saturday evening.
Also looks like
Haziness at night
and walks up mountains.
Carole Farish 10/02/2018
Some scribblings I wrote yesterday for a dear friend of mine. 📷 Suhyeon Choi.
Early mornings and branches.
Breathing in ordinary moments.
Crisp air fills my lungs and frost crackles underfoot.
Looking up at silhouettes in the sky.
Shadowed by the night sky.
Soon to be flooded in daylight
Taken on my walk to work this morning. I’ve added some scribblings from the other day.
Life is a series of in betweens
Paths that seem like dead ends
and some that are not.
Filled with joy beauty, hard times and wonder.
And sometimes it’s a fight
to see the light in the darkness
But most of all I cling to the hope that He is mightier than any troubles that I face.
Even in sorrowful times
I am glad that He holds it all
And brings comfort amidst the tears.
And when I look back
I’m in awe of all He’s done
And grateful that He’s there
all the time.
Carole Farish December 2017